I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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