I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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