I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
