It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
