i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
