every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
