my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
