the day after is always just damage control
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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