I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize