All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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