After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
