Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
