I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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