Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize