And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
