Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
