is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize