His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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