I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Church boner. Awkwardddd
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
