im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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