she looked like the before picture.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
