Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
