You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
