Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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