almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
