carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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