He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize