He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
