I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
