he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
