You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
