Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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