S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
