It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
