if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
