I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
