They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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