I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
