Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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