i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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