New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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