Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
