I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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