hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
