hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
