So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize