Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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