Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
