we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
