I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
