Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
