careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
