I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
