We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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