i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
