Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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