well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
