She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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