Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize