So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
