Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
