Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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