ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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