dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
