Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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