I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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